Bible Truth Foundations
Part 2 of 3: Growing in Christ
Please begin by answering this question honestly in your own words.
You have said "I love you" to people, food and football teams. When you say it to God or to another person, what do you actually mean by it?
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Of everything that survives this life, Scripture crowns one thing greatest. This lesson asks what exactly that thing is.
The central idea of this lesson
God's kind of love, agape, is not a feeling that comes and goes but a chosen commitment to another's good, and it is the one thing you keep beyond the grave.
English is poor in love-words: one syllable covers everything from romance to pizza. Greek, the language of the New Testament, distinguishes four loves, and the difference between them is the difference between marriages that last and fail, churches that heal and split, lives that count and drift.
Eros is romantic and physical attraction, God's invention, celebrated in the Song of Solomon, and reserved by design for marriage. Storge is family affection, the natural bond of parent and child. Phileo, used over seventy times in the New Testament, is warm companionable affection, real but tidal: it rises and falls in intensity, which is why "falling in and out of love" describes phileo perfectly and why phileo alone cannot hold a covenant together. Agape is God's own love: a settled commitment to seek another's welfare regardless of feeling, cost or response.
Note
Most heartbreak comes from asking one love to do another's job: expecting phileo's feelings to sustain what only agape's commitment can, or letting eros lead where agape has not yet built. The loves are good in their places; agape is the load-bearing wall.
1 John 5:3
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.
Matthew 7:12
Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Scripture defines agape not by intensity of emotion but by direction of will: keeping God's commandments, doing for others what you would want done for you. This runs against the grain of the flesh, seeking another's benefit above your own is not natural, which is precisely why love is listed as fruit of the Spirit: God supplies both the instruction and the strength.
Romans 13:10
Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Agape makes even enemy-love possible, because it never waits for feelings. Romans 12:19–21 hands vengeance to God and hands us actions: feed the hungry enemy, give the thirsty one a drink. You can seek the welfare of someone you do not like; that is not hypocrisy, it is agape doing its work while feelings catch up.
Going Deeper
A ministry worker once befriended a refugee family in a park purely as a decision: money given, food shared, furniture found, years of practical kindness with no emotional glow. In time the family came to faith, a wider ministry to migrants grew from it, and warm affection flooded in behind the obedience. The pattern is reliable: practise agape and phileo grows in its shade. If you want a love that feels, do the love that acts.
1 John 3:18
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
Talk is love's cheapest currency. The proof of agape is always enacted: kindness, patience, humility (1 Corinthians 13:4), commandments kept, welfare sought. Pursue this love as your highest aim (1 Corinthians 14:1), because when faith becomes sight and hope becomes possession, love alone goes on.
Practical Tip
Choose one person this week, family, colleague or someone you find difficult, and perform three deliberate acts of agape for them: practical, costly and unannounced. Record what happens to your feelings toward them by the weekend.
Work through these on your own before your group meets. Type your answers directly into the table below. Your answers are saved automatically in your browser.
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| Question | My Answer | Group Discussion Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Which of the four loves, eros, storge, phileo, agape, has dominated your understanding of the word "love", and how has that shaped your relationships? | ||
| 1 John 5:3 defines loving God as keeping His commandments. Where has your definition been more sentimental than obedient? | ||
| Romans 12:20–21 commands feeding a hungry enemy. Who is the nearest thing you have to an enemy, and what would "good" toward them actually look like? | ||
| "Practise agape and phileo grows in its shade." Where have you experienced feelings following obedience, in either direction? | ||
| 1 Corinthians 13:13 says love is greater than faith and hope. Why do you think that is, and does your diary agree? |
These questions are designed for open conversation at any level of experience. There are no trick questions and no single correct answer.
Agape is a practice with a promise: feelings grow behind it. Consider these areas.
| Context | How I Apply This |
|---|---|
| Personal life | Run the three-acts experiment: one person, three deliberate, costly, unannounced acts of agape this week. Judge the week by obedience, not by warmth; then notice the warmth anyway. |
| Church community | Aim agape at the overlooked: the newcomer, the awkward, the one who never gets invited. 1 Corinthians 14:1 says pursue love; pursuit means moving first, without waiting to be moved. |
| Difficult seasons | When you feel unloved or unloving, act first: do for someone what you wish were done for you (Matthew 7:12). Agape given in a desert is the fastest way out of one, because the fruit of the Spirit grows in every soil. |
Tap each card to reveal the answer.
What is the greatest thing that abides?
1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13
What are the four Greek loves?
Eros: romantic love, reserved for marriage. Storge: family affection. Phileo: warm friendship that rises and falls. Agape: God's love, a chosen commitment to another's welfare regardless of feeling.
What is the love of God?
1 John 5:3
"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome."
1 John 5:3
How is evil overcome?
Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Romans 12:21
How must love be expressed?
1 John 3:18
"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:18
What fulfils the law?
Romans 13:10
"Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
Romans 13:10